Tag: psychology

Treat Yo Self

Treat Yo Self

I’ve tried many different spending challenges over the years – not buying clothing for a year, setting up a budget for specific categories, not eating out for 100 days, aiming for a certain number of $0 spend days every month. I can’t argue with the […]

The Worst That Could Happen

The Worst That Could Happen

In some ways, the most enjoyable moments of our life are when we haven’t started yet. We haven’t added up the debt we owe, we haven’t calculated how long it will take to pay it off, we haven’t started saving or investing. All we know […]

The Zero Dollar Clothing Year

The Zero Dollar Clothing Year

I’m a fan of experiments, particularly ones that test boundaries and challenge complacency. In the past I’ve hit step targets and weight loss milestones (decent), skipped eating meals out for 100 days (manageable), and waited to purchase a new cell phone for a week after the previous one died (torturous).

Last November I decided to push another boundary – no clothing purchases for an entire year.

Why I Stopped Purchasing Clothing

A few factors led to my decision to stop buying clothing for a year:

  • I had recently purchased a work wardrobe and wanted to focus on enjoying these items rather than being distracted by anything new.
  • I had finally let go of all of my too-small clothing and needed time to adjust to the idea that I’d probably never wear that size again.
  • I was in the early stages of learning more about the dark side of the fashion industry and the impact that our purchases have on the world.

My Clothing Spending

One of my biggest discretionary spending categories last year was clothing. I was in a new career and buying professional clothing for the first time in my life, and I wanted to buy pieces that I knew would hold up over time. In total, I spent $3,069.37.

Most recommendations give three to ten percent as an appropriate amount of your net income for clothing, which would have been between $1,400 and 4,800 for me last year. I fell around six percent, which isn’t terrible but it wasn’t exactly a number I was proud of either. I hoped that the initial cost of quality, versatile pieces followed by a few years of lower spending would decrease my average.

I knew I wanted to maintain a capsule wardrobe of carefully selected items, but I needed to break through years of impulse shopping habits before I could begin purchasing clothing more intentionally.

Clothing My Aspirational Self

I’ve never been a natural at selecting clothing. I would buy almost items. They almost fit, they almost worked, they were almost perfect. Except that they were a little tight around the waist so I never wore them. Or the patterns were beautiful but the fabric was 100% polyester so I never wore them. Or they looked great for the first wear but as soon as I washed them once the shape was gone – so I never wore them.

If your body isn’t suited well to fashion industry sizing, you’re pretty much out of luck unless you find a clothing line that fits off the rack or a great tailor. Having a full closet but nothing to wear is a struggle for many of us. We wear 20% of our clothing 80% of the time – I wanted to wear 80% of my clothing 80% of the time.

Last year I focused on letting go of thin, stylish, aspirational me and only purchased perfect items for real life, casual, comfortable me. They had to fit perfectly, they had to drape perfectly, and they had to suit my lifestyle perfectly. This was not an easy task, especially considering other factors like longevity and sustainability, but I persevered!


The fashion industry has created a seamless disconnect between our clothing purchases and the manufacturing process. We see the price tag and the item, and then it’s basically a race to the bottom. The reality is that the price tag is only a fraction of the cost. We don’t just pay for clothing with our money. We pay with our time, our environment, our values, and even the lives of others that we’ve never met.

Imagine if the number of garment workers killed or the amount of water wasted or the volume of toxic chemicals dumped was listed right beside the care instructions on every garment tag. The information might not be right in front of us, but the reality is still out there.

More than 1,100 people died in the Rana Plaza collapse of April 24, 2013, and experts warn that there are still dangerous factories like it – everywhere. A typical pair of jeans takes 7,000 litres of water to produce and the indigo dye has turned Chinese rivers blue. The apparel industry is the largest employer of women, and approximately 80% of garments are made by women aged 18-24 earning low wages while putting in long hours and dealing with unsafe working conditions, discrimination, and sexual assault. These garments are then worn a few times, sit in our closets, and eventually maybe get donated. Even donated clothes aren’t reducing harm in the way that we thought – in the U.S. only 10 percent of donated clothes are resold; some countries have stopped accepting our donations altogether because of the impact on local industry. In reality, about 75% of our garments end up in a landfill or incinerator, where toxic chemicals and dyes contaminate soil and groundwater and contribute to CO2 emissions.

This is just a sampling of the reality behind our clothing – to learn more about the impact of the fashion industry, check out the documentaries The True Cost and River Blue. You might also want to head over to Fashion Revolution, an organization advocating for greater transparency, sustainability, and ethics in the fashion industry.

The Challenge

The objective was to avoid purchasing any clothing for one full year. No work clothes or casual clothes. No underwear, no bras, no tights, no pyjamas, no socks. I even abstained from purchasing footwear or accessories because they were too clothing-adjacent!

I’m happy to report that I spent $0 on clothing in 365 days! 

I did purchase some outerwear, specifically for snowboarding, which I excluded from my challenge. The reason I created an exception for snowboard equipment was that I didn’t want to limit my experiences or activities, just my unnecessary shopping for clothing. Since this was specialty equipment that I wouldn’t be wearing unless I was snowboarding, I gave myself a pass!

Keys To Success

It was difficult at first to switch off that instinct to purchase something when it looked appealing. The habit of wanting to bring an item home right that moment or risk losing out was a tough one to break.

Stop Browsing & Unsubscribe

I had a habit of visiting stores occasionally to ‘see what was new.’ The act of walking into a warm, brightly lit, well organized space and browsing soft fabrics and interesting combinations was comforting to me.

Following brands by email wasn’t much easier. Some of them – you know the ones – seemed to have a sale every month. I struggled with passing things up, because in previous moments where I hesitated the item was sold out when I was ready to purchase.

I needed to reinforce the idea that there is an endless supply of new products, and missing one isn’t a big deal when there are new items just like it moments away. Retailers try to create a false sense of urgency by offering sales and limited edition products. My rational brain knew this, but my lizard brain didn’t. By restricting the flow of information, I made sure I wouldn’t feel like I was missing out on anything. If I didn’t see the products, I wouldn’t have to use precious reserves of self-control to resist them.

In the early days I learned that I needed to completely switch up my routine. I got off at a different bus stop and walked a different route home to avoid the shopping areas. I unsubscribed from every email and unfollowed every company on social media. I told friends not to invite me shopping. I deleted my credit card information from websites. I put up barriers everywhere I could to set myself up for success.

It was also important for me to find ways of self-care that evoked the same emotions as browsing. I needed a replacement for these activities or I would have to rely solely on willpower – side note: willpower is so not effective and we need to stop putting it on a pedestal. You are not a weak person if you struggle to change your habits – you’re a person. The emotions around an inviting space and a sense of accomplishment can be created by getting a massage, taking a walk outside, meeting a friend for a drink, or talking to a therapist.

Create A Capsule Wardrobe

For a while, I thought my problem was that I didn’t have enough items of clothing. My real problem was that I bought individual pieces rather than items that would work well in the context of my entire wardrobe. I had items that I could only wear with one other item. I had items that didn’t go with anything else. It was a jumbled mess of other people’s styles obscuring my own.

Now when I consider clothing purchases, I ask myself how often I would wear them – not per year.. per week! If I don’t plan on wearing an item at least once a week, it’s a lot tougher to justify that purchase to myself. There are exceptions, of course. I have a dress I wear for special occasions that I might put on only a few times a year. Back to the 80% rule – most of the clothing I own is worn regularly and only a few pieces are worn occasionally. I usually rotate through almost my entire wardrobe every couple of weeks. For a year I’ve worn 6 dresses about 50 times each, with a few skirts and tops or casual outfits thrown in.

A side effect of this capsule wardrobe is that I always know what to wear, I always feel comfortable in my clothing, and I have so much more decision-making capacity for the important things.

Let Go Of Your Aspirational Self

Have you ever bought an item of clothing in a smaller size, as ‘motivation?’ I have, and let me tell you – it was the furthest thing from motivating. It was guilt-inducing and discouraging. I felt like a failure every day I opened my closet and saw items that no longer fit or never fit. What do many people who struggle with their weight do when they feel like a failure? Eat more and move less. Not the desired effect!

I didn’t start losing weight until I donated all of my smaller clothing. Suddenly, I wasn’t getting frustrated with myself for not fitting into a certain garment or an ideal size. I didn’t have a closet full of items but nothing to wear. Everything I owned fit well and made me feel confident.

Sometimes my aspirational self nudges back in, but at least she looks a lot more like me.

What’s Next?

Now that I’ve finished my Zero Dollar Clothing Year, I want to continue to develop a healthy relationship with clothing. I’m not planning on repeating this challenge anytime soon, but I do want to carry with me everything that I learned as I make more intentional choices with my wardrobe.


After a year of wearing quality fabrics, I feel more confident in my choices and I don’t think I could ever go back to most conventional brands. They fit differently, wear differently, and launder differently.

Buying used clothing to keep it from the landfill is a great way to reduce our impact. I haven’t had much luck finding garments in my size and preferred fabrics, but I know second hand stores can be a treasure trove if you have a good eye and the right body shape for it!

If buying second hand isn’t a feasible option, I think it’s just as important to support retailers who are doing it right as it is to avoid ones who are doing it wrong. That’s why I plan to continue to purchase new clothing from a select list of retailers that I’ve curated based on my values. My aim is to focus on Canadian companies who either make their garments in Canada or have strict and transparent supply chains for garments manufactured in other countries. I prefer to shop with retailers who design versatile basics, rather than attempt to keep up with trends or cycle through multiples styles every season. With smaller, local companies it’s easier to meet the designers and stay connected with their process.

Emotions & Motivation

I don’t think conscious, deliberate purchases should evoke a sense of guilt. I’ve struggled with the guilt of consumption my entire life. At first, it was self imposed because I felt wasteful with my money and our resources. Then, the internet stepped in and gave me a whole new way to feel guilty, either by comparing my spending to someone else’s or by me posting and receiving virtual feedback from others.

I know some people thrive on the accountability, but I had to stop participating in certain areas online because I’m already in the habit of making myself feel guilty enough and I don’t need laser-focused stranger guilt too. There’s a continuum in terms of spending money and I am not on the frugal end, that’s for sure! Now I try to connect with people who are only slightly more frugal than me and aren’t into shame-based encouragement. I’m not discounting motivational masochism – it’s just not for me; I prefer the carrot.

Wish List

In the spirit of intentional spending, I’ve implemented a wish list system where I keep a note of any items I’m interested in purchasing. If they stay on the list for at least a month, I know they’re probably a worthwhile purchase. Here’s a sampling of my clothing wish list, which has stayed mostly the same for the entire year!:

  • black dress pants
  • tights
  • underwear & bras
  • black hoodie
  • basic short and long-sleeved shirts

Clearly I haven’t built myself up into a spending frenzy during my period of self-deprivation. In these categories I currently own one pair of pants – jeans that I’m unable to wear to work, two pairs of tights that have seen better days, some threadbare undergarments, a worn hoodie, and two basic shirts that lost their shape months ago.

Knowing exactly what I do have (and wear regularly) and comparing that to my wish list has been extremely useful. Ideally, I’ll purchase these items when I find the perfect ones over the next few months. Stay tuned!

Have you done a zero dollar clothing month – or year? What do you consider when shopping for clothing?

My Heisenberg Moment

My Heisenberg Moment

Facing a desperate situation – a six figure student loan debt with no six figure income – I did what many graduates do at first.. I ignored it. I decreased my spending enough to make slightly more than the minimum payments. In some months I […]

Everything I’m Not

Everything I’m Not

Labels are tools that help us make sense of the world, and the links we create between and among us. These defined categories are one of the ways we cultivate belonging, but they’re also one of the ways we promote othering. When we mentally classify […]

I’m Still Living Paycheck To Paycheck

I’m Still Living Paycheck To Paycheck

I no longer have any credit card debt. I have an emergency fund. I’m paying down my six figure student loan debt and increasing my net worth at a decent pace.

Even though I’ve made massive changes, you would never know it from my thoughts or activities.

I still check my accounts multiple times a day. I still have trouble sleeping the night before payday. I still spend the majority of my money as soon as it’s deposited, although now it’s mostly used to pay off debt.

I’m still living in the paycheck to paycheck cycle.

I feel like I’m on a financial roller coaster, and that the ride never stops. If you’ve ever had an unhealthy relationship with money (or anything else), you’ll know what I mean. When payday rolls around, a euphoric rush hits you as you crest the top of a peak. You hover there for a moment before your stomach drops out as you plummet back down. Money seems to evaporate in a glut of spending, and the distance to the next payday stretches out in front of you before you begin the slow, rickety climb back up.

Is saving money always positive?

I know my financial situation has drastically improved this year and I don’t want it to seem like I’m not grateful for my advantages or pleased with my progress. This obsessive behavior is beneficial to me in many ways – I’ve paid off a substantial amount of debt, been diligently saving for retirement, and reined in my impulse spending.

My net worth keeps going up, but what about my self worth? I do generally feel proud of myself for finally taking control of my finances, and for making so much progress this year. At the same time, the underlying feelings of inadequacy are stronger than ever. I wrote about all of the comparison that happens in the financial independence community recently, and I was absolutely including myself in that category. Starting out with six figures of student loan debt has instilled this sense of always being behind and trying to catch up. I’ve read amazing stories about early retirees around my age that were able to finish working before I really even started. Avoiding these comparisons altogether would be ideal, but unrealistic to ask of my very human brain.

Will this feeling ever go away?

If I’m being honest, probably not! I think achieving debt free status will add some much needed stability to my financial situation, but I’m not so naive to think that my relationship with money will be ever be completely healthy.

Aside from the fact that I have chronic imposter syndrome and nothing I do seems to alleviate it, unstable emotions around money are tough to avoid. I can’t just quit currency. At the very least, I need to earn and spend regularly to buy shelter and food to survive. I can’t save up a certain amount and let it sit predictably in a savings account either, because keeping up with inflation requires growth and growth brings volatility. A time will come when the swings in my investment accounts will be gains or losses of thousands of dollars rather than hundreds. I already have to be careful not to check my accounts too often, and I only have about 2% of my retirement target saved!

How do I find balance?

I know what I theoretically should be doing to find balance, but I’m struggling with the execution. I could be meditating or doing breathing exercises or writing affirmations or starting new hobbies. I could be doing any number of other things, but it seems like I’d rather be obsessing about money.

It’s so easy to open the spreadsheets or web browsers and recalculate my debt free date, or my retirement date, or my net worth. I can login and check my accounts and investment balances with a few keystrokes. Even if I’m away from the computer I could probably tell you the numbers by memory. I’m just not a ‘set it and forget it’ type of person.

Acknowledging my feelings is a great first step, but I need to focus on getting off of this roller coaster ride if I want to be financially and mentally successful with money.

Do you obsess about personal finance too?

Your Personal Finance Unicorn Does Not Exist

Your Personal Finance Unicorn Does Not Exist

When I started paying back my debt at a faster pace than the absolute minimum that my lenders required, I got really excited about it. In my eagerness I started talking to friends about this radical practice, thinking that they would be grateful for the life changing […]

Financial Ruin Is Not Empowering

Financial Ruin Is Not Empowering

If you think your finances are entirely ruled by careful consideration and freewill, riddle me this: Why does consumer research show the exact opposite? Why do marketing budgets show the exact opposite? Why are lenders making serious cash hand over fist? The emotions behind spending […]

The Debt Bonfire Method

The Debt Bonfire Method

Despite what many personal finance experts will tell you, there is no debt repayment method that fits every situation for every person. The ‘do whatever works best for you’ model isn’t going to sell any books though..

I’m not a personal finance expert, so I’m free to share my honest opinion of the two most common debt repayment methods, the debt avalanche and the debt snowball, and suggest an alternative that I think brings out the benefits of both.

Is anyone else bored stiff with the snow metaphors? I think it’s time to crank up the heat with the debt bonfire! Let’s visualize!

Imagine that you’re on a beach. The sun is setting and you’re building up a fire. You’ve got a pile of wood next to the fire pit – your debt. You start small at first, building up a base and preparing the kindling. You light the small pieces and even though you’re just getting started, you begin to feel the heat. You keep adding bigger sticks and then logs, one by one, and the fire grows. Eventually you’ve built it up so that the flames are licking the sky. You watch your wood pile dwindle as you add each piece. Eventually you set the last log onto the fire and break into a triumphant grin. The final things you toss in are your loan documents and you watch them shrivel up and burn to ash, viking funeral celebration style.

Now that got me fired up more than the image of snow sliding down a hill.

Debt Avalanche

Order your debts from highest to lowest interest rate, and tackle the one with the highest interest rate first.

The debt avalanche will save you money over the course of your repayment, but only if you stick to the plan. If you lose motivation, even for a short time, you can completely wipe out any gains you’ve achieved by choosing this method rather than a more psychologically efficient one. Use with extreme caution, and only if you have the willpower equivalent of an obedient robot with a passion for mathematics.

Debt Snowball

Order your debts from smallest to largest amount, and tackle the one with the smaller amount first.

Support for the debt snowball method abounds, from Dave Ramsey‘s decades of success stories to research from the Harvard Business Review and the American Marketing Association’s Journal of Marketing Research. If you’re a squishy sack of habits and urges like me, this method will give you the psychological boost you need to stay the course and kick your debt to the curb. One disadvantage is that it doesn’t take into account other motivating factors like the urge to ditch ultra high interest debt, or to save face at home by paying back a personal loan to a family member.

Debt Bonfire

Order your debts from most to least motivating, and tackle the one that you find motivating first.

Instead of finding a suggested plan and following it, I recommend creating your own plan. This way, you can have the structure of a plan but in a customized way that will keep your motivation bonfire burning right down to the coals.


Which Debt Payoff Method Is Right For You?

I prefer the hybrid method of the debt bonfire, because I want to utilize every available method and take advantage of the best aspects of each one. If you find yourself making exceptions to the debt snowball or debt avalanche method, maybe it’s time to admit that you should be creating your own plan too!

Let’s say that these are your debts:

  • $3,000 / 20% / credit card / bank
  • $25,000 / 5% / student loan / government
  • $2,000 / 0% / personal loan / family

Using a repayment calculator with a monthly budget of $1,000, you’ll find that the debt snowball and debt avalanche method resulted in the same debt free date, and that the difference in interest was only $358 over the 34 month payoff timeline.

If you happen to get discouraged using the debt avalanche method and stop paying more than the minimums for a few months, say goodbye to some of that extra cash and potentially your debt free date too! I’ll happily pay $10/month more in interest as insurance on my debt free date.

That being said, if the $25,000 student loan happened to be at a 10% interest rate, the debt avalanche method would save you one month and $695 in interest. Maybe you’d be more motivated to pay off a higher balance first at that rate.

Individual considerations for your debt free journey:

  • interest rate
  • amount
  • payment history
  • relationships
  • personality
  • type of debt
  • cash flow
  • legal consequences
  • emotion


Let’s look at the example above again. What kind of considerations might these three debts bring?

  • $3,000 / 20% / credit card / bank – high interest rate, emotions from overspending on credit, unsecured debt
  • $25,000 / 5% / student loan / government – medium interest rate, high amount, socially ‘acceptable’ debt
  • $2,000 / 0% / personal loan / family – low interest rate, low amount, relationships, emotions from borrowing from a family member

What if, above all, you hate your credit card because the interest rate is insane and it constantly brings up feelings of shame for overspending? You might start following the debt avalanche method because of this preference for paying a high interest debt first.

What if you then felt guilty for borrowing money from a family member, but it’s at 0% interest and therefore last in the prescribed order? You might decide to follow the debt snowball method to clear this one before your student loan.

What if I told you that you could do both?

Using the debt bonfire method, you order your debts from most to least motivating.

  • $3,000 / 20% / credit card / bank
  • $2,000 / 0% / personal loan / family
  • $25,000 / 5% / student loan / government

Now you’re free to tackle your debts in the order that will fuel your motivation and encourage you to stick with the program for the entire debt repayment timeline. As you pay off one debt, the thought of paying off the other debts will become more motivating because you’re also getting the psychological benefits of completing an item on your list.

This method has the added bonus of not making you feel like you’re cheating on the process. There can be a lot of guilt associated with making ‘exceptions’ to the debt snowball or debt avalanche methods. Questioning yourself on the method can lead to losing motivation and potentially delaying your debt free date. If you include these ‘exceptions’ in your plan from the beginning, there’s no guilt! In fact, there’s another motivational boost from following your goals as outlined.

If math is your ultimate motivator, and you can honestly say that you will stick to your debt repayment plan, go with paying the highest interest rate debts first.

If relationships are the most important to you, and getting that loan from your grandmother off of your conscience will get you fired up, pay that one first.

If you owe money to the government and could potentially go to jail if you don’t pay it, maybe start there.

Are you following the debt snowball or debt avalanche, or did you make up your own method like the debt bonfire?